"And ever has it been that
love knows not its own
depth until the hour of separation." -Khalil Gibran
(originally written, October 20, 2002) There she stood adorned in maroon and gold from head to foot. She took her freshly hennaed hands and lightly
brushed over the golden embroidery and rhinestones on her shirt’s sleeve. A Ruby and gold tikkah dangled on her forehead as she lifted her head for the first time to take a look in the mirror.
Slowly she began taking steps towards the chair, she could hear her anklets brushing against her freshly manicured and treated feet. The beautician was packing up her makeup items and took one last look at her and smiled in triumph. She was one of the most beautiful brides she had ever seen.
"Good Luck!" she whispered as she left, leaving the door slightly ajar. For the first time Aisha was alone only moments prior to her wedding ceremony.
Slipping on her golden slippers, Aisha couldn’t help but feel more alone. Today was the day she was to begin living the rest of her life with her soon to be husband, a new life in a new city. The day a girl waits for her entire life had finally come and there she was all alone, all dressed up with nothing but her tears to guide her through.
Soon people would be swarming into the room, as news would come of the arrival of the barat. But at that moment, the silent cry and weep of innocence consumed her creating an aura of disbelief and loneliness. If only he was here to see her.
It had been just a few months since this rishta had been formalized. The engagement was a short one but it was beautiful. This period of discovery had left her believing in
love once again. He was wonderful, her fianc�, and showered her with affection and
love. He was probably everything she was looking for in her entire life, all-inclusive and they planned their new apartment together, picking out
China patterns and furniture upholstery. He made her smile and laugh and feel like she was worth every compliment, and every moment was their moment. But today, the day that was planned with every intricate detail in place and final arrangements completed, she couldn’t help but think of him, her first and real
love.
She would never really understand what it was about her first
love that she found to be so appealing. It had been eight years since she last saw him but she still remembered his touch, his smile his voice and words. She was just a young naive girl in high school but he was all she wanted. They had a few classes together and would go out to lunch with one another. He took her to his prom, although he was a few years older she was so excited to be asked by a senior. And then came college and the breakup. He broke her heart and left town leaving her with memories and wishes of a time well spent and honored. Although it was so long ago, she still couldn’t help but wonder what if.
See that’s the thing about first loves she kept telling her friends, they come and go but their presence lasts for eternities. Although she had called him a few times he never made an effort to come and meet her or to give her a call. She remembered his birthday and the names of his siblings and wondered if he even remembered her last name. It was a brief courtship lasting only the last few months of her sophomore year in high school but the memory lingered on until today.
"Ahhh Aisha...." Her sister Aman was speechless." You look amazing."
" I told you, you would make a beautiful bride."
All around her people gathered to take a look at her, the beautiful bride. She was breathtaking and no one would dispute that.
Then came the sounds of the pipers outside.
" They are here!!! The Baratis are here!!"
" Get the rose petals, where are the rose petals?"
As the girls left to greet the Grooms
family with red and pink rose petals, Aisha sat there, eyes closed, head lowered. How could she be going through this? She was living through the motions of the moments, smiling when the flashes flickered, standing when asked to but the entire room spun around her as she heard people come in and out laughing, talking, commenting, she heard the door slam shut and slide open, but Aisha couldn’t get a grasp on herself. Why was this happening?
She bent down to tie her shoelace. Her hair was up in a ponytail and he passed by slapping her pony around. " Ill race ya to the field." He cried. She lunged forward regaining her stance and ran as fast as she could trying to beat him to the track meet. But he was known to be one of the fastest sprinters in the county, it was useless. By the time Aisha reached the track, she was out of breath and there he stood with a giant smile as he uttered "nice try." Oh how she loved his competitive nature, but always followed through with words of encouragement. It made her want to prove herself to him, to show him that she wasn’t weak and could stand to lose. The meet was a large one, it was the county semi-s and she was running the 15-meter race. He was in the relay. She watched him get into starting position, he turned his head towards her and winked sending a tingle down her spine. She still couldn’t believe that he had chosen her to be his date to the senior prom.
With the sun glistening high above and the referee waving his flag marking the beginning of the relay, she stared at him sprint to the front of the race, baton in hand, trophy in mind. She could see his need to win and zest for running. That moment was forever engraved in her mind. It was a picture perfect day as he was handed the 1st place medal. He came up to her and put his arms around her shoulder, took off the golden medal and placed it around her neck.
" I won that one for you."
Aisha picked up the medal, which she had just recently found while packing her things to move. She brought it with her today and smiled remembering the short but inanely happy time they had spent together. For whatever reason, she had kept that medal with her for all these years. It was almost as if that medal was the key to the one happy time she remembered in her life and letting go of it would be rid the memory of her first
love.
Her aunts came in the room and fixed her dupata. They were all smirking and commenting but she heard nothing. She tuned every sound out of her mind ceasing to exist except in spirit. Her father entered the room to get her consent, and there she gave it, Kabool three times allowing her father to accept the proposal. She signed her past away, in the whim of a moment, the blink of an eye.
He held her hand as she walked into the Hilton together, hand in hand. He looked marvellous, dressed in a black and maroon tuxedo; his hair gelled back with the yellow rose boutonniere safely fastened to his lapel.
" Here goes nothing!" he yelled as they entered the ballroom.
Aisha remembered thinking it was a dream. The entire room was decorated with medieval decor, castles and moots, Black and Burgundy balloons. It was a fairy tale come true, a simply breathtaking scene.
They found their table, and she put down her purse and instantly they were on the dance floor. The entire night she didn’t once stop smiling. They ate and drank punch and sang along to songs. They took pictures with all of his friends and some people she knew as well. By the time the last song came on, they were the only two people in the world for one another. Embraced within each other’s arms they spent those last four minutes by each other’s side not a single soul or entity could separate them.
Aman and Maha walked Aisha out to the main hall. There he stood up front, hands folded in front of him waiting for her arrival. Her head was bent down as she clutched on to the material of her lahgna. She walked forward one step at a time with a soft melody playing in the background. Ooh’s, Wows and Aahs came from the audience as she approached the front of the stage. She took her steps slowly and swiftly as she sat down on the ornamented Burgundy Chair next to her now betrothed husband.
" You look amazing." He whispered gently.
There they sat, the newly married couple. She could hear his breath, somewhat abnormal possibly from nerves, and she heard the starch of his Sharwani brush against her dupata. She sat up on stage, a doll to be admired by all but only loved by a few. Aisha felt no nerves, no sentiment. She sat as told and bowed as tradition mandated. He smiled and shared his gratitude with the guests and
family members. They took pictures of them, with them documenting this joyous occasion. But none of it mattered.
" I’m off to school in a few days you know." He had said.
" I know."
" It was great hanging out with you, we’ve had some great times."
" Yeah.. We have."
" Maybe I’ll give you a call when I come home for Thanksgiving."
" That would be nice."
" Well I guess this is good bye."
Thanksgiving came and went, 8 times without a call. She called him on occasion, her heart beating quickly in anticipation to hear his voice once again.
But she called two nights ago, and this time he picked up. And she hung up. She couldn’t do it; she couldn’t speak to him and tell him that all these years she waited anxiously for his call, for his return, for his touch.
" I think we should get ready to leave, Aisha." Her groom said hours later.
She nodded, sitting still not moving an inch.
She was ready. Ready to do something. To move on with her life. To get over the lost first
love, the man she no longer knew.
But now there was him, the man she knew but didn’t
love. He was taking her home.
" Don’t go” She remembered saying
" I have to go and pack, my parents are taking me out to dinner."
" Can’t you wait another five minutes?"
" Sure.."
Five minutes in silence. Five minutes of pain, Five minutes left with him. Five minutes not a word uttered, not a leaf stirred. Just deep breathes. Inhale, exhale.. Gentle end of summer breeze.
" I’ll call you."
" Okay."
Her Groom stood up and gently lifted her from the burgundy chair. The
music had been shut off and the guests all began standing. With her father and mother by her arm, Aisha slowly began heading towards the door. She opened her purse in trying to get a tissue and accidentally slipped the remnants onto the sidewalk.
He had heard she was getting married, and wanted to congratulate her, so on his home he stopped by the hotel in time to see the bride vanish into the back of the limousine. He felt a light gentle breeze begin to sway the leaves on the autumn trees and smiled. It was one of those picture perfect nights.
He walked back to his car, hands in pocket with a smile on his face. He always liked her, there was always something about her which intrigued him, but since his life got busy and complicated he hadn’t had a chance to call her in order to catch up on lost times. She was always a sweet one, full of zest and zeal, and upon notice of her wedding, he wanted nothing more than to see her one last time, as a bride.
As he took the keys out of his pocket he noticed something shiny on the sidewalk leading towards the hotel. He stared at it for a few moments before it registered in his mind. She had kept it all these years, and today the day after Thanksgiving, he had found it, a token of her anticipation for him. Placing it around his neck, he drove home in silence.
