Little reflections/Summer time

(image credit: luckybeans.typepad.com)

Its beautiful out today. One of those rare gem days that don't come along more than six, seven times a year. My eleventh grade English teacher used to call them Pocket Days(See old favorite below), days that were so uncommon that you'd take a mental picture of them and put them away in your pocket for the days which weren't so grand.

Lately, the pocket days are coming in handy.

It's just that as of late, taking a stroll down memory lane brings up so many questions. What if I had taken the internship in DC or had moved to San Diego? Stayed at Sony? What if I didn't end up in new York? What if I had pushed myself a bit more. What if, What if?

But why bother with the uncertain questions now. Its exactly that, a quest (-ioning) for an answer. But at a young age I learned that so many -probably the most important questions- don't deserve a quest, because the answers aren't what you want them to be. So let them be, leave them where they are.

And so you're left with the days in between moments: the moment when you realize that the people surrounding you will probably love you the most in life even though you haven't yet met the most significant ones to you- a child, a grandchild, a mentee, a husband.. the moment when you feel that this profession has begun to define you-who you are is a mere reflection of the title given to you.. the moment when you feel that the most control is when you've lost all semblance of sanity, put all that you have on the cement and let nature run its course, when control means letting it all go... and hope that which comes next, comes when you need it the most.

Little reflections/summer time.

Pocket Days

Pocket Days
(originally written in May, 2001)

The day the sun shines so bright
The smiles on faces, enhanced by light

I feel the breeze brush through my hair
I see him walk, so debonair.

He passes but a glance my way
With the look he made my day

I start to rise, my heart begins to fall
I know this feeling, I know them all

Will he turn around to see if I look
Or be on his way, a signal mistook?

I think I may never have a chance
I fear the look was happenstance

I'll put this memory far away
In my mind, another pocket day.

*************************************

The day the sun gleems its rays
I take a walk on this pocket day

I look not for love but to get away
I see her seated in my walks way.

I suavely pass a look to see
If she's the one to set me free

Her eyes meet mine, but not a smile
She puts my heart back in denial.

I fear I may never see love again
I fear her eyes were filled with pain.

Should I turn around and search for a reaction?
To see if there was any mutual attraction

I cannot let my heart be shook
All for just some empty look.