Wonder Wall

Understand me, and set me free. From the bricks I've spent years creating a wall for you to break. This isn't Berlin my friend, its my soul.

Torn/ tractored/ frustrated/ You stole it none, you stole something far more precious. My ability to let go, to fly. The closest I've ever come to seeing the sun. The smiles. The movie-star Hollywood moments. The anticipation.................

The anticipation turned into anxiety into anger into frustration into confusion into clarity into closure.

Closure. Close in. On something which never was to be what it was in my head.

Exactly that, a momentary lapse in something sacred, something surreal, something unreal. Something fictional

You met her. I met you, who is her? Who are you?

We met her/him/it. The best versions of ourselves can only be seen through those who see more than we can see.

But you met her, because the best version of me was a terrible version of us.

Right?

You won' t answer, I'll always wonder.

We are all looking for answers to questions which don't exist. Or we don't want to ask. Or you don't want to ask.

Yellow.

Its always yellow.

So just wait, and see as I don't react, and I hope you wonder if I cried, screamed, laughed... I hope you spend eternity waiting for my reaction to your tirade, your rant. I hope every morning you wake up with an itch which won't go away of wonder//

You're just mean and that won't go away or react. Its unforgivable. Because me-Not mean.

I know you'll wonder. I hope you wonder a wall. Like the one you broke. Wonder Wall, A way of keeping track of all that you did and did not do, to wonder away. Ponder. Philosophize.

And this is me. Not reacting, just writing because:

The Pen is mightier than the sword.

And 'tile my grave I will fight your written words with my own.
And in the end, the power my words will eventually win out.
Or the power of my silence will kill.